For one thing it may not even matter so I don't know why I'm freaking out about it. I might not be able to get a dorm because it doesn't seem like I'll get much money from the FAFSA and my parents keep reminding me it's not easy to get loans. But if i can get on campus housing I'm so torn on how I feel about it. One part of me really wants to live on campus. For one thing it's downtown Chicago, it's gorgeous. Another thing is that it would be far more convenient for a busy college schedule to live on campus so i wouldn't have to leave much earlier and take the train at all times of day. And finally, as much as I love my family I think it would benefit us all for me to live on campus and get a little more independence.
On the other hand i feel like i just cannot live on campus. Why you may ask? Because of my animals. It's pathetic I know, but a huge part of me just cannot bear the thought of living without them. One of them in particular, our puppy corgie Duncan. I don't know why but I love that little guy more than I can describe. It's like he came in and just filled up a part of my heart. Every day I wake up and my favorite part of the day is when he sees me for the first time of the day. He gets so excited and jumps all over you and kisses you and cries with excitement and it's so adorable.
I knew it'd be close to be impossible to leave my animals, all of them not just Duncan, I have such a strong attachment to them. But when I came home tonight Duncan and I did our routine, which consists of me coming home and he'll wait at the gate in my parents room for me to show him it's me and kiss him goodnight. He's just so cute and i gave him some kisses and went to let my mom know I was home and he followed me like a shadow and finally climbed in his little bed to go back to sleep. He's just too cute and i know I'm his third favorite in the house and I am so worried if I live in a dorm even if i come home and visit a few times a week he won't love me as much because he won't remember me as much. Even more though I'm worried I'll be miserable not being able to see him every day. When I go out I miss him, even for short periods of time, it's pathetic. I know I absolutely shouldn't skip living in a dorm if I get the chance to because I'll miss my animals, it's just stupid to do, but I also know for me it's going to be so hard.
I'm not even worried about my family or friends because I can easily keep in touch with them and visit whenever I want to and not worry about them liking me less or forgetting about me. Animals though I feel like hold grudges and I don't want any of my pets to like me less or be mad at me for leaving them, they don't understand like humans obviously. When it comes down to it I'm sure if I can get housing I'll take it but it's going to be so sad to leave them, even knowing the opportunity I'd be leaving them for. But that's all I have for this rambling panic of a first post, everyone wish me luck on getting financial aid and loans so i can even go to Columbia College at all. I'll leave you all with my favorite picture of my baby Duncan.
Cutest thing I have ever seen in my life....fact.
